July 5, 2022

I'm headed toward eviction any day now. Fourteen days is my allotted stay for the month in this state park. I'd noticed a tent down by the creek and thought perhaps I could get some insight on other prospects, so i grabbed my stick and headed down the road. It was an early morning and already hot as blazes. I neared the end of my road and saw that a car parked at the vault toilets. I overheard a scolding banter going on behind the closed doors..

accusations toward one another for not bringing toilet paper. I peered at the folded paper towel squares stuffed in my sock. No. I'll sit this one out, i thought. I continued walking.The car pulled up beside me just as i reached their site. Appearing concerned, a middle aged man with long blonde hair jumped out of the car. Soon to follow was a bedraggled woman wearing pajamas pants, stamped with a bold cartoonish design. I introduced myself and as he reached out to shake my hand, i recalled the spat that had ensued just moments before. Oh well, i thought, taking his hand. I greeted her in the same fashion. We exchanged names and i explained my predicament. I briefly went into my healing journey without getting too involved and he shared his struggle with allergies from the cacti in bloom at the moment.

I heard a cry from inside the tent and my judgement had already taken shape.They had left a sleeping child to go use the loo? For real? Oh, i said, you have a little one? "Yeah," he said. "Hey fatty! You want out?" At this point I wasn't sure what to think. The woman walks over and unzips the tent. She leans in and lifts up an enormous, blonde, maine coon cat. He explains they had gone on a hike yesterday, and that he refused to ride in his pack, so ended up walking for about a half a mile. He looks around on the ground and picks up a black rock and rolls it around in his fingers. "See this?" he says. "This is arn." I catch on pretty quickly that he is saying iron. He tells me it was hard on his paws, so he'll be taking it easy today. The woman sets him down in a canvas chair and takes great care in arranging a blanket over his head tenting him for privacy and protection. He then explains this "arn" blows out tires and is pretty much a big nuisance. I consider this along with all of my other concerns. Now I can add, stuck in the desert with a blown out tire to my list. I will be sure to reserve more than one gallon of water from now on. I look beyond them where i see two nicely carved walking sticks. I'm embarrassed by my Charlie Brown make-shift replacement, which really isn't much better than the splintered one i lost in the rock slide calamity.

Anyhow, he was definitely a man to take note of the ground. I am becoming this way too. I have a feeling this will save me. He then picks up a caterpillar (sort of sluggish looking thing) and holds it in his palm. He prods it gently and tells me this will be a moth the size of his hand and that there will be so many of them that windshields will be covered with them. I have learned quite a bit here in a matter of minutes. He offers a tale about why his plates say Colorado and not Wyoming, involving a divorce. He is more shamed by the plates than of the divorce, it seems.

He says he usually hides them when he's parked.I am getting a clearer perspective of the Wyoming mindset...between him and the billboards. As a side note, i will say, i took a day trip to Colorado to pick up a much needed pair of boots from the closest REI. Good timing as a snake was coiled up in the middle of the road on my way out. I took a photo but did not get out of my car. My shopping was a charming experience as i kept pace behind a mother and her five-ish year old. She was doling out therapy concerning an upcoming stressful event. He complained of a belly ache because he couldn't stop thinking about it.The whole scene was adorable.I lapped it up for free. Wyoming ain't got nothing over Colorado. Anyway, back to Mr Wyoming blondie. I explained my predicament of needing to move on and inquired if he knew of any place similar to this campground? He gives loose directions of a place about 15 miles down the road. We said our goodbyes and I picked up my inferior walking stick and headed back. After breakfast, I drove on out to the place he'd told me about. I ended up traveling about 10 miles down a dirt road and passed plenty of NO TRESPASSING signs, each one of which had a particular ranch name beneath it. FREE RANGE signs and cattle were everywhere as well. I got a little spooked and didn't feel like taking a bullet over this, so i turned around. Pretty soon, a pickup truck with a couple of older women were coming my way, so I flagged them down and told them of my mission. These were hard core, lady ranchers.I inquired about camping and the no trespassing signs. They were all about showing me where to go. They made me feel as if I were on their team and were all grins. I told them where I had been staying and they sure thought I was the real McCoy. I felt like a hero. They even ushered me right into the place...the place i would not stay. NEVER, ever, ever. It was beautiful. Like Montana beautiful! But the scene was all wrong. The humans. They just have to ruin it every time. Those flags flying over campers and four wheelers everywhere. .. and i am so sorry to be judgmental, but if i am going this far out to find peace and fine air, those humans have got to go. It was demoralizing.

I went back to camp and took my hike up to the ridge. Along the way, i found a frightening sight that i could only take a guess of what those things might be. It looked to be spent rounds of some scary weaponry. Perhaps the kind that takes children out of classrooms well before their time. Nausea welled up inside me. I am getting a bad taste in my mouth all the way around right about now. It feels creepy here. Bad mojo.I made it to the top of the ridge.

From way up there, i felt so insignificant with all those rocky, raw, sagey mountains for as far as i could see and not a person in sight.I wanted everyone to feel this way. Imagine if we were to experience this kind of insignificance on a daily basis, the ego would be tucked away. Think how much more approachable we would all be? The balance might be restored in humanity. Oh where to go from here? I need the all telling compass to show me the way. Time is running out.

I'm not sure where all this vulnerability came from, but I suppose when you're in a crisis, it simply flows out. I've tried to be brave and quiet and keep it to myself. But it seemed the braver thing was to spew it forth. So just scroll on if it's too much. For now, this writing is keeping me alive and of course you fine folks. I couldn't do it without you.