Jun 17, 2022

I awoke yesterday morning after I spent the last 4 days in a primitive dispersed campground in Wyoming. My mouth, nose and eyes were filled with grit. I had a whole new set of wild animals to brush up on. It seems i have finally found a place that agrees with me. Its about an hour away from a grocery store and 30 minutes from cell service.The winds are unforgiving in this state, however i found a nook about a mile from the other camp spots that doesn't get the 45 mph winds. The road in to the park was blinking "60 mph crosswinds" warning drivers not to pass.

I awoke early to pack up so i could make the 6 hour drive back to Utah to return this rental car. I'm tired. There is no glamour to any of this. I can stare in awe at the beauty that our natural world offers and take a photograph. This feeds my soul a bit. I realized yesterday, the only way i can get through this is by being grounded in nature and with help. I need a team. I'm too old to do this unwell. How i have come this far, i really can't say. I will return tomorrow, to the camp in Wyoming. These places are where i need to be...to be able to breathe all around me. I know this now, as i sit like a caged animal in this hotel room gathering what's left of me to go clean out the rental.

Waking up to the wilderness of Wyoming, grit and all, gave me a peace indescribable compared to this pomposity. The assault of noise, pollution, speed and extravagance...the anxiety wells up within me.

This is a hard one for me. My husband has done all he can to support me through these 3 years of living hell and he simply can not do it anymore. I have been through the equivalent of a couple of house fires and an unforgiving illness which i continue to try to climb out of...my daughter, Queena, it is she, who i must live for. She organized a "Go fund me." I'm humiliated by sharing this. But she means the world to me and this is my only way to getting to a place of healing. I have witnessed the results, incrementally. These small milestones give me great hope. Please share this page regardless if if you are able to help or not. And know this illness is so horrific. Queena, my daughter, mentions in her words that if you simply google "Go fund me, toxic mold illness", you will see it's a devastating disease that robs you of everything you own as well as your health. Thank you all and i will keep you posted when i have more clarity. Because there is no cell service, i can only check my messages every 3 days or so when i go out for supplies. I hope to move away from being so distraught and back into a place of hope. Again, thank you.

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